Anal Play 101

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by Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce

Anal sex is well out of the closet and is now a mainstream, sexual activity choice, which continues to gain popularity in the heterosexual world for both men and women. What was once thought to be Taboo, or just for the porn stars, is now more easily discussed and more often tried, in even the most conservative corners of the world.

So you want to give this a go… where do you begin?

The first step is to open up discussion about how you each feel about anal play. I would not suggest using porn as your only guide on how to proceed. Remember, Porn is for entertainment – not for education.

So here are some tips:

Anal Play is one area where yelling “SURPRISE” will not be met with tears of joy!

     How to get into the butt grove… so to speak.


The more you turn on the area around the anus (aka the entire body), the more likely the anus will enjoy the new experience. Remember, this is a highly charged area of nerves and nervousness. So taking extra time to get in the mood is even more critical in anal play. One of the big mistakes made is to rush, pressure or focus only on the anus and forget the clit, vulva, breasts, lips, mind, etc of their partner. As with any sexual time, tease and please the entire person…. not just one piece of them.
Side Note: Being able to relax knowing you cannot get pregnant from anal sex is another reason many women find this enjoyable. (The only way you could actually get pregnant from anal sex is if some of the sperm make it out of the anus (condom) and into the vagina.


To prepare a bottom for sex play, start with fingers, tongue, or a very small sex toy designed for butt play (they usually have a handle). (See Sexy Six Below about Lube/Condoms) Once you feel comfortable and are finding it enjoyable, you can then work your way up the size chain (no food or household items please– they can get lost up there!). An option is to purchase a Butt Plug Kit that uses several plugs, of graduating sizes, just for this training. You can even bejewel your butt hole with a fancy one! The upside of the butt is the ability to accommodate most any size, unlike the vagina, which has a cervix & uterus just 4-5 inches inside. So for those men with an over abundance of dick (and can not ever get fully immersed in their work), they might be quite enthusiastic about this alternative form of sex play.


Using an anal douche is not harmful if only done once in awhile, and might help you relax your concerns about your bowels. Starting your anal sex adventures after a huge meal of spicy Mexican food might not be the best of timing. So choose your time, do a little clean up and follow the Sexy Six Below to make this a fun, sexy, enjoyable experience.

Now you are prepared and ready to go! With anal sex clearly out of the closet, before we just go diving in, we need to know some very important facts about that part of our anatomy. So bare with me, I’m going to get clinical with you for a moment. (Why? Before becoming a Sex Doctor I was a Registered nurse for many years.)

The colon (that long tube from stomach to anus, or aka, stem to stern) is filled with bacteria necessary to digest the foods you eat. These bacteria are the good guys inside the colon, but not-so-good in the mouth, vagina or bladder. E-Coli is the name of the bad boy that can cause some major infections when it’s moved from the anus (aka butt-hole) to any other hole (urethra, vagina, mouth, nose, ear… ok maybe not the ear).

So here are some butt play tips to keep you safe and healthy!

The Sexy Six!


Always cover whatever you’re putting into the anus with a condom or a glove. YOU ONLY NEED ONE CONDOM AT A TIME– Never, ever double up on condoms for any reason.


Always use MORE LUBE than you think is reasonable. You can’t use too much; so keep adding it as you go! The Lube must always be WATER BASED. (Oil based lubes break down latex, i.e., condoms, gloves.)


When you go from the Anus to any other hole, change condoms or gloves to prevent that E-Coli from being inserted into a place it will only cause harm.


Micro tears are a prime way for infections to be transmitted. Be gentle & be generous with lube!


Fecal material can sometimes be found in the lower part of the colon (known as the rectum). A gentle anal douche can help alleviate any concerns you may have about your bowels. Whatever you need to be able to relax and enjoy the experience, I say do it.


Anal play can be exciting and can lead you to even more powerful orgasms (both men and women). The most important aspect is communication and staying tuned-in to what your partner is experiencing. If you are the giver, please honor any “no”, “stop”, “slow down”, “wait”, etc.  This will build the trust you need to take this level of play to new heights of exploration and enjoyment.

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce is a Registered Nurse, Conscious Living Yoga Therapist, Sex & Sensuality Coach, Radio Talk Show Host, TV Personality, International Speaker & Star of “Nearly Naked Yoga“.  She was featured in an episode of “Kendra On Top” Season 4, Episode 12 as a Sensual Yoga Therapist.

Dr. Nancy has many very exciting upcoming projects; and is thrilled to announce that she is now a Clinical Sexologist Consultant for Cosmopolitan Magazine!  Here is the latest article from which they used quotes from her “Anal Play 101”.

Cosmopolitan Feature Article:
Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce has an eclectic background, which places her expertise in a league of its own. The compilation of her career as a registered nurse, health educator, sex & relationship authorradio talk show host, and yoga therapist fuels her passion as an International speaker, sensuality educator, and Exotic Lifestyle Retreat CEO.   Designer Sexuality, Intimacy Communication, Sensual Movement and Exotic ~ Erotic Lifestyle Coaching; all fall under her umbrella of Conscious Living Sexuality™.

“My most rewarding work is teaching about Designer Relationships & Sexuality, Intimacy Communication, The Art of Sensual Touch, and Erotic ~ Exotic Lifestyle Retreat Experiences.  Watching men and women wake up to their full sexual energy is like watching a sunrise – you never tire of the natural beauty and they are all unique”.

When not traveling the globe inspiring others, Dr. Nan enjoys being able to return to her Northern California home with the love of her life for over 30 years, Dr. Mark Pierce. Together they have raised three children into adulthood and now bask in what she refers to as “the dessert of parenting”, being grandparents to three amazing little girls.  She is well loved and respected in her community and abroad as a healer, educator and valuable resource.

Earning her Doctorate Degree in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco has broadened her reach around the globe.   In the last year alone she has travelled to China (three times), Mexico, Jamaica, San Francisco, & Los Angeles teaching Conscious Living Sexuality.  You can experience a sampling of her Conscious Living Sexuality & Sensual Yoga Retreat on the Kendra On Top Show (Season 4, Episode 12).

Dr. Nan is a frequent contributor for, Cosmopolitan Magazine, and several on line blogs for and  She is a featured Sexologist for and is the Star of Nearly Naked Yoga on her The Sex Host Dr YouTube channel.  You can hear her live radio show every Saturday (The Conscious Living Show) as well as download the podcasts via iTunes.




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About the Author:

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce is the creator of Conscious Living Yoga & Conscious Living Sexuality Programs. She is an international speaker, intimacy educator, and clinician. Her passions include her husband, family and her work helping others awaken to the joyful passions they long to connect with. She is also the executive producer & creator of The Conscious Living Show, As You Desire Sex & Relationship Blog, and The Sex Host Dr on YouTube.
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