April 30 2016 ~ TechnoTalk & Jealousy

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THE CONSCIOUS LIVING SHOW

Today’s Show:  

First Half ~ Textual Relations and MisCommunications via technology.

Second Half ~ Then we talk about the role of JEALOUSY in our lives.  Helpful or harmful?  Flattering or Flattening?  

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Hosted By Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce

Guest: YOU!

April 30, 2016

Topic: TECHO-TALK & NAVIGATING JEALOUSY

Waking up to your life!

Segment 1. “When you are at your computer or communicating with strangers via technology, please imagine you were standing in line with them at Starbucks.

Would you ask them this question? Would you show them you genitals? Would you say something cruel?

If no, then don’t do it here. It’s no different. On the other side of the computer who are real, live, living, breathing, feeling, thinking, HUMAN BEINGS!”april304

Stay CONSCIOUS & RESPONSIBLE for ALL of your actions.

YOUR Intrigue or Interest is not a license to disrespect or disregard the personal boundaries of another.
40af82e5afa7ec6823a728b375e097b7TYPING IN ALL CAPS – What does that relay?

“I’m Only Responsible For What I Say, Not For What You Understand”. Is this accurate? Isn’t communication more valuable than to just leave it at that?

 

 

april305

 

Segment 2. Why Dating Is Fu*ked!

https://www.facebook.com/NicoleArbourfans/

  • How dating USED to be; Being asked out well in advance, a date planned,
  • Texting: Games – Text or Not to text? Too little, too much? How quickly to respond –or do you respond?
  • Term – GHOSTING – Date – then never another word.  Text, call or email – and “crickets”.
  • How does this feel to be on the receiving end?       On the giving end?
  • Flirtationship – Is that what you’re having?
  • “I know you think you understand what you thought I said, But I’m not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.”
  • THE EGO’s Role in all of this!

April307Segment 3. JEALOUSY: suspicion, suspiciousness, distrustmistrustinsecurityanxiety;

possessiveness, overprotectiveness

The common experience of jealousy for many people may involve:

  • Fear of loss
  • Suspicion of or anger about a perceived betrayal
  • Low self-esteem and sadness over perceived loss
  • Uncertainty and loneliness
  • Fear of losing an important person to another
  • Distrust

April306The experience of envy involves:

  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Longing
  • Resentment of circumstances
  • Ill will towards envied person often accompanied by guilt about these feelings
  • Motivation to improve
  • Desire to possess the attractive rival’s qualities
  • Disapproval of feelings

Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.

Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.

Jealousy is often reinforced by cultural beliefs and attitudes. Cultural beliefs also determines what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy.

JEALOUSY IS NOT A SIGN OF LOVE!Jealousy3  It’s all about your beliefs about yourself and the other person’s responsibility in how you feel about yourself, darlin…

Many beliefs are inaccurate and yet you still believe they are true.

What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe the other person’s responsibility is to you? Do you own them? Do you own their thoughts, feelings, desires, fantasies, hopes or dreams? Do they own yours?

Write out your negative thoughts that are playing in your mind – then ask – are they true? Do these fit the ME I desire to be? The way I desire to FEEL?

Overcoming jealousy is like changing any emotional reaction or behavior. It begins with awareness. Jealousy-Quotes-131Awareness allows you to see that the projected stories in your mind are not true.

Trying to change anger or jealousy once you are in the emotion is like trying to control a car skidding on ice.

To permanently dissolve the emotions such as anger and jealousy in relationships means changing the core beliefs of insecurity and mental projections of what your partner is doing.

april309The steps to permanently end jealous reactions are: 
1) Recovering personal power so that you can get control of your emotions and refrain from the reactive behavior. We don’t have to change, we just have to change our belief in the false self image.
2) Shift your point of view so that you can step back from the story in your mind. This will give you a gap of time in which to refrain from a jealous or angry reaction and do something else.
3) Identify the core beliefs that trigger the emotional reaction.
4) Become aware that the beliefs in your mind are not true. This is different than “knowing” intellectually that the stories are not true.
5) Develop control over your attention so you can consciously choose what story plays in your mind and what emotions you feel.april3010

Segment 4. CLARITY: Learning how to STATE what you desire, where your personal boundaries are, what you are holding yourself responsible for, etc is of great value to you and your relationships.

Q & A:
Q:  Hey so we had a conversation and she told me her and her Ex still kiss. Kissing for me means a lot.. But I wasn’t bothered like I thought I would be because she is honest. Is that a good thing…

A:  What we don’t know and suspect can rip us up. The Betrayal is what tears people apart – not the action.  Once you realize what she feels or does with someone else has no reflection on what she feels or does with you – you will be free.  It has a lot to do with our beliefs about things – and as adults we get to re-think those and decide how they are actually affecting us. Many of our beliefs cause us great unnecessary suffering.

april3011The beliefs that are instilled as children are done as a means of manipulating their behavior. Sadly – much of what we tell them is not accurate and will actually cause them greater suffering as adults. We need to think of our kids as Adults In Training and prepare them to be self thinkers, self loving, self motivated and to know how to manage difficult choices. 

COMPERSION:  A new word used in the open relationship or Poly world – but this word can teach us all a lot about how to truly celebrate the happiness of another without being invested in the way in which they achieve that happiness.  Food For Thought.

NEXT WEEK… The Doctors Are Back! Dr. Nancy & Dr. Mark are here to Celebrate MOMS!

Future Shows: If you have an idea or would like to be a guest on my show email me from my website nancysuttonpierce.com and we’ll make a date! I am still seeking sponsors so contact me if you believe your product or company is like-minded with the Conscious Living Movement.

If your business is in the area of “Conscious Living” and you would like us to mutually support each other, please Contact Me Directly. Lets help each other make this world an even better place for our grandchildren and beyond!

Thank you for your support – I love to know what you are thinking – Please leave your comments below. I read every one!

Keeping Life fascinating,

Dr. Nancy

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce

tablelovecloseDr. Nancy Sutton Pierce, a born and raised California girl, specializes in Intimacy Communication, Sensual Movement and Exotic ~ Erotic Lifestyle Coaching. Her background as a registered nurse, health educator, sex & relationship author, radio talk show host, and yoga therapist all enhance her passion as an International speaker and sensuality educator.

Nancy lives in Northern California with the love of her life and husband of 22 years, Mark Pierce. Together they have raised three children into adulthood and now bask in what she refers to as “the dessert of parenting”, their three precious granddaughters.

Nancy earned her Doctorate Degree in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco.   You can experience a sampling of her Conscious Living Sexuality course on the Kendra On Top Show (Season 4, Episode 12). You can also find Nancy’s contributions on www.Sexpert.com as well as www.NancySuttonPierce, www.AsYouDesire.net and www.ConsciousLivingYoga.com.

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About the Author:

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce is the creator of Conscious Living Yoga & Conscious Living Sexuality Programs. She is an international speaker, intimacy educator, and clinician. Her passions include her husband, family and her work helping others awaken to the joyful passions they long to connect with. She is also the executive producer & creator of The Conscious Living Show, As You Desire Sex & Relationship Blog, and The Sex Host Dr on YouTube.
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