As You Desire: Swinging – It’s Not Child’s Play – Part 1

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I’d like to clarify something from my last column on . There IS a difference between sexual orientation and sexual preferences. Sexual orientation is defined by whom we are attracted to. There are four general categories: asexual (no sexual desire), homosexual (same sex attraction), heterosexual (attracted to the opposite sex) and bi-sexual (attracted to both sexes). I will be adding a fifth category to this concept, which is simply SEXUAL (attracted to one sex primarily but comfortable with and able ...

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As You Desire: Sexual Orientation – Not So Straightforward

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Who are you sexually attracted to? What is it about someone that draws you in? What if you lived in a society that told you your sexual preference was unacceptable and you had to, by law, choose the other sex for your relationships? Could you do it simply because it’s what society expects?

Ignorance and fear around the subject of sexual orientation continue to cause great suffering. Important facts and truths have been lost or swept under the rug. When you ...

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As You Desire: Mating Rituals – Hormonal Beer Goggles or True Love?

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The early days of a relationship are a time of high energy, creativity and endless nights.  The pheromones (a powerful sex attractant), or perhaps eHarmony, have drawn us together.  We are on our best behavior … we primp, we fuss, we consider every little detail.  Our seduction dance has begun.  Like peacocks fanning our feathers, we parade around each other, bobbing our heads and making those cooing (or squawking) noises to attract our potential mate.  It’s a beautiful time in ...

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As You Desire: Perversion or Preference – What’s it to You?

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Is it perversion or preference?  You have certain sexual or sensual experiences that make you feel good, that toot your horn, blow your skirt up or knock your socks off. You enjoy acting out your fantasies with others who share in your excitement.  You are not hurting anyone.  You pay your taxes, contribute to charity, and are a loving family member and good neighbor.  So what if your sexual preference is dressing up in furry animal costumes (BTW, this is ...

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As You Desire: In Search of Intimacy

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Are you getting your fill of intimate touch and connection?  Do you crave a deeper connection with those you are in relationships with?

Intimacy is necessary for us to thrive and survive.  The result of not having this experience during our lifetime can be tragic.  It is well understood that developmentally, loving touch and communication are vital.  Mental and emotional health arise out of loving, safe, intimate connections.  Are there other ways to feel connected and intimate other than the physical ...

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As You Desire: Taking Pleasure Into Your Own Hands

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Most everybody (speaking of you who will admit to it) is doing it, so why is it so difficult to talk about? Well, we’re talking now — about masturbation.

We do realize that sexuality exists from birth to death, right? There is no specific age which indicates the beginning or the end for our sexual lives. As soon as infants can reach, they touch their genitals with appreciation and fascination.  We see toddlers rocking and rubbing on their toys with a ...

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As You Desire: Foreplay, Anyone?

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Ah, the word women love and men are often afraid of. If you ask men and women to define foreplay you’ll get vastly different answers.  Men: “Show up. Get naked. Let’s go.” Women: “First it depends on how he has been treating me today. If we are fighting, forget it. Nothing will work. Then if he helps me get the kids to bed on time that is good, rubbing my feet and shoulders … yessss, I like that. Cuddling on ...

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As You Desire: Hitting ‘Play’ – Even in Menopause

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Answers to your questions: Thank you for taking the time to write me your concerns and questions. I have chosen letters that I know will resonate with many others. Please keep your letters coming, as I’d like to offer this format more often.  Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

From Gamer John: Sex? Sex? My wife is going thru menopause so once a month or two is fine for her. I want it a couple times a week, so that means once ...

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As You Desire: Sex in Overdrive – or Can’t Find the Keys?

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Did you know that sexual satisfaction has a stronger link to perceived “relationship quality” for men than it does for women?

From The Kinsey Institute:

Fact One: Sexual dissatisfaction is associated with increased risk of divorce and relationship dissolution. (Karney, 1995)

Fact Two: Across all ages, couples who reported higher levels of marital satisfaction also reported higher frequencies of sex. (Call, 1995).

Are you getting too little, too much or just the right amount of S-E-X?  That is the million ...

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Beyond Flirting…

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The butterflies in your belly … racing heart … sweaty palms … I think we agreed after my flirting column that this feeling is really FUN for many of us and dangerous for others. Most of us, as it turns out, really love that feeling; we thriveon that feeling of being alive, vibrant and excited! So what happens when we take it a step further? When we cross the line and become more daring, even seductive? You would think it’s ...

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